Thursday, September 30, 2004

It's a multiple post day - Dishwasher

Well, my wife ordered a new dishwasher a week or so ago. It was supposed to be delivered today and I, idiot that I am, offered to install it. My job was to (A) disconnect and remove the old dishwasher and (B) install the new one. Growing up I worked delivering washers, dryers, refrigerators, dishwashers, etc for my Dad's Sears store (it was a local catalog/merchant franchise place). Now in my memory I remember installing all those items back when I was 14, 15 and 16. I can remember having to rehang the door on a refrigerator because it came in opening the wrong direction. I remember untold gas grills that I put together for customers and that was for $0 back then. Delivery was $25 in those days but we'd take away their old machinery for them, too. Oddly I never remember installing a dishwasher by myself. I had just assumed that the hoses would be like the washers and dryers with rubber hoses and brass fittings and a washer in the middle. Ohhhhhh ho! Not even close. First off its 240 volts wired directly into the dishwasher. Then its copper tubing that snakes something like 10-15' around through the cabinets and behind the lazy susan corner cabinet. Then its all manner of crap when I screw up where the brass fitting mounts to the plastic plumbing. Ahhh, the joys of owning your own home and being dumb enough to do your own labor.

I was supposed to have removed the old one last night so that the guys could take it with them today and then I would replace it with the new one when I got home. Well, I completely forgot that today was the day and so I didn't do it last night, I was on the way in to work today and I was headed in early for a change. Called the wife to say "Good morning." and she asks "Did you remember to remove the old dishwasher?" Here I go back to the house and try to remove the dishwasher only to make a huge mess. Now I need to cleanup and still don't have the darned thing out. She calls to say the delivery guys are on the way and can I stay. Sure, what the heck, its just my job, right? They get here and the guy takes a look at what I've done to my house and graciously shows me how if I'd just done this and then that things would have been simple enough that even an idiot like me could do it. He was nice but I'm sure he was hiding a laugh in there somewhere; hell, I would have been. So, I disconnect the old one finally after screwing up the other pipe and cabinets and he and his partner carry the new dishwasher into the kitchen. He asks if the old one works and I say, "Sure. She just wanted a newer, quieter model." Hmmmm. Partly correct. She also wanted one in Bisque. Now don't ask me what the hell color bisque is but . . . yes you guessed it . . . after they're gone and she comes home to see her new dishwasher that her stupid husband is trying to install while still wearing most of the clothes that he had planned on wearing to work today she exclaims "Oh no! It's black! I ordered Bisque!" Had I remembered one of the reasons she wanted the new appliance, perhaps I could have stopped dude while he was here and said, "Oh, no, my good man. You've selected a black dishwasher and I'm sure my fashion conscious wife will have none of that since she obviously chose Bisque." Nope. I didn't. I slowly and calmly moved away from the Satanic contraption that has attempted every way to confound me and conspire against me and I told my wife that its not a problem and that I was sure the store could help out. Now I still have bare wires, screwed up water pipes and a gaping hole in my kitchen and the delivery men are returning tomorrow to bring my wife her lovely new Bisque dishwasher. Its no one's fault. Just some of the things that happen when I don't pay attention and leave a household task until the last minute I suppose. Just thought I'd share with you wonderful folks (or bored people).

Thanks for reading,


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